Anxiety,  Lifestyle,  The OU

Smooth Seas Never Made A Skilled Sailor 🌊

I’ve been M.I.A. from the Blogging World for the past two weeks. I haven’t fallen off the edge of the earth – well, not yet anyway – but I have been having a few personal problems that have caused my anxiety to spike once again. For two weeks my life has been a series of highs and lows, and emotional ups and downs – as they say, though, smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.

It hasn’t all been doom and gloom. As my Dad keeps telling me, “Nothing is the end of the world” (this from a double-amputee/ someone who has had a kidney transplant/ several heart operations, is not something to be sniffed at), but despite his strength, I’ve stupidly let a few troublesome things in my life take over and I needed to step back and realise just why I need to be more like him.

It’s been an emotional two weeks, and my anxiety has yet again been restricting me from day to day activities – but I know in my head it’s a now or never situation with getting myself back on track – so I vowed today I would do just that.

The Positives 

  1. I graduated from the OU last week. I was so nervous to walk on stage and collect my scroll, but I did it! Even in those ridiculous heels.
  2. My Mum and Dad came together for the first time in 20 years to be together for me on my Graduation Day.
  3. My Dad managed to stand for the family photograph – he makes me so proud.
  4. I had a lovely weekend away with family in Torquay and the sun shone down on us the entire time – despite it being the end of September!

The Negatives

  1. I’ve been quite unwell for the past two weeks – who knew an earache could develop into something so sinister and painful? So, between various long hospital appointments and checks, I’ve had to sleep for days at a time and keep my body rested – they told me I might not make my graduation if I had to stay in on an IV – I didn’t think they’d let me go but they did and I made it, despite feeling a little ropey.
  2.  I’ve fallen behind on some important legal things that I was pursuing – in leaving it for just a short amount of time I’ve fallen victim to the voice of my anxiety telling me to stop – it’s not worth it – why are you bothering? I’m hoping that today I’ve taken the steps I needed to to get things back on track.
  3. I was unable to move to Ireland on the date planned – the Healthcare system there is different to the NHS and apparently ENT appointments are hard to get, so it was decided it best I stay in the UK until I got the all clear – which I now have.
  4. I’m back where I was last week, waiting for my life and journey to start again – it’s hard to keep yourself motivated when things keep going wrong, but, I MUST keep fighting against the waves.

I suppose in life, as in anything, there will be highs and lows – I guess it’s a lesson in focusing on the positive factors and, not ignoring the negatives, but not making them your everything or allowing them to consume you.

Stay Positive.

Peace Out.

A.C.G. x

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