I’ve been M.I.A. from the Blogging World for the past two weeks. I haven’t fallen off the edge of the earth – well, not yet anyway – but I have been having a few personal problems that have caused my anxiety to spike once again. For two weeks my life has been a series of highs and lows, and emotional ups and downs – as they say, though, smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.
It hasn’t all been doom and gloom. As my Dad keeps telling me, “Nothing is the end of the world” (this from a double-amputee/ someone who has had a kidney transplant/ several heart operations, is not something to be sniffed at), but despite his strength, I’ve stupidly let a few troublesome things in my life take over and I needed to step back and realise just why I need to be more like him.
It’s been an emotional two weeks, and my anxiety has yet again been restricting me from day to day activities – but I know in my head it’s a now or never situation with getting myself back on track – so I vowed today I would do just that.
- I graduated from the OU last week. I was so nervous to walk on stage and collect my scroll, but I did it! Even in those ridiculous heels.
- My Mum and Dad came together for the first time in 20 years to be together for me on my Graduation Day.
- My Dad managed to stand for the family photograph – he makes me so proud.
- I had a lovely weekend away with family in Torquay and the sun shone down on us the entire time – despite it being the end of September!
- I’ve been quite unwell for the past two weeks – who knew an earache could develop into something so sinister and painful? So, between various long hospital appointments and checks, I’ve had to sleep for days at a time and keep my body rested – they told me I might not make my graduation if I had to stay in on an IV – I didn’t think they’d let me go but they did and I made it, despite feeling a little ropey.
- I’ve fallen behind on some important legal things that I was pursuing – in leaving it for just a short amount of time I’ve fallen victim to the voice of my anxiety telling me to stop – it’s not worth it – why are you bothering? I’m hoping that today I’ve taken the steps I needed to to get things back on track.
- I was unable to move to Ireland on the date planned – the Healthcare system there is different to the NHS and apparently ENT appointments are hard to get, so it was decided it best I stay in the UK until I got the all clear – which I now have.
- I’m back where I was last week, waiting for my life and journey to start again – it’s hard to keep yourself motivated when things keep going wrong, but, I MUST keep fighting against the waves.
I suppose in life, as in anything, there will be highs and lows – I guess it’s a lesson in focusing on the positive factors and, not ignoring the negatives, but not making them your everything or allowing them to consume you.